


elijahwoodnot-- tumblr prompt fills

by unintentionallyangsty



Category: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (TV 2016)
Genre: Angst, Boys In Love, Boys Kissing, Brotzly - Freeform, Cuddling & Snuggling, Drinking, Drunken Kissing, F/F, First Kiss, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Jealousy, Light Angst, M/M, Making Out, Neck Kissing, Prompt Fic, Prompt Fill, Protectiveness, Romance, SO MUCH FLUFF, Schmoop, Sloppy Makeouts, Tumblr Prompt, Weddings, faranda, more to come - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-15
Updated: 2017-08-26
Packaged: 2018-12-02 09:51:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,653
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11506920
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unintentionallyangsty/pseuds/unintentionallyangsty
Summary: Various filled prompts for the sake of tumblr user elijahwoodnot battling their writer's block posted here!





	1. the Wedding Fic

**Author's Note:**

> based on the following prompt from [grandsouldsandwich](http://grandsoulsandwich.tumblr.com)  
>  **"Dirk and Todd go on a picnic but are attacked by birds and somehow one of them ends up falling into the lake"**  
>  i absolutely _loved_ filling this prompt. thank you so much, dear!! ❤️

The day was nice enough for it, Dirk thought, watching drowsily as the sunset reflecting off of the nearby lake filtered through Todd’s curls, framing his face in a hazy halo that had Dirk’s pulse picking up to near racing.

They were sat on a quilt in the grass, some yards away from where Amanda and Farah were stood, hands intertwined and eyes locked firmly on the other’s as they swayed to the music humming faintly across the expanse of lawn.

Dirk grinned, watching them with a sense of warm contentment growing in his chest, confident in their happiness.

“I never thought I could see her so happy.” Todd murmured, breaking the silence (not unwelcomely), and offered Dirk a small smile. “She looks so… carefree.”

“Yes, well.” Dirk paused and swallowed, trying to make force his tone into the effortless casualty that Todd seemed to have mastered, “It is how one should look on their wedding day, if I’m not mistaken.”

Todd’s dimples deepened. “It is.” He agreed easily, his gaze not on Dirk, but on the dancing couple before them, “I guess I just never… never expected it, for Amanda. She doesn’t really seem the ‘settle down’ type, y’know?”

“I do.” Dirk commented, “But neither does Farah, really.” 

“True.” Todd agreed instantly, glancing downward and smoothing out the quilt beneath them. “I’m just… happy to be here.” 

“ _I’m_ happy that you’re here.” Dirk replied, before he could stop the words from escaping, and noted with no small degree of pleasure the flush that developed on Todd’s cheekbones at the words.

(The celebratory champagne they’d enjoyed earlier might have had more of an effect than he’d realized, Dirk reflected.)

“Do you want anything else?” Todd asked, blinking with forced casualty and glancing at Dirk shyly beneath his lashes. “Any more food or?”

“I’m quite alright, thank you.” Dirk assured, glancing at the (almost staggering) amount of food that still remained laid out between the two of them before shuffling closer to his companion in a way that was a little too intentional to be considered quite accidental.

“Alright?” He murmured, trying not to grin in pleasure when Todd’s cheeks (already flushed a little with alcohol) flushed a bit further.

“Alright.” He repeated, glancing down and, not moments later, sliding his hand minutely closer, so that his fingers could tangle lazily with Dirk’s.

They sat like that, for a moment, in comfortable and happy silence. Dirk reflected, distantly, that it might have been the happiest he’d ever felt all at once, before the moment was effectively shattered by someone’s outraged cry sounding from across the lawn.

Todd glanced up sharply from where his gaze had been lazily tracing his and Dirk’s intertwined fingers, and glanced around with a furrowed brow. “What the hell?” Dirk, too, began to scan his gaze around the small wedding venue, only to land, not moments later, on a (quite large) group of geese that had begun to gather around the table some feet away, laden still with the remnants of the wedding meal.

“Oh, god.” Todd muttered, quirking a brow and watching along with Dirk as a frustrated guest attempted to wave the birds away, only to be shrilly squawked at for their efforts.

Dirk winced. “Maybe they’d best--”

“Jesus!” Todd cried, interrupting Dirk’s hesitant suggestion. Dirk turned, swiftly, to find that one or two of the offending birds had landed startlingly close to their picnic quilt, and were approaching slowly, their eyes trained on the food still on the blanket. “God.” Todd stood, swiftly, hooking his hand around Dirk’s elbow and dragging the taller man up with him. “We should-- um.” He exchanged a helpless look with Dirk, all traces of the previous soft happiness gone from his face.

Dirk felt his heart sink a little at the change, before he turned back to the scene before them firmly, determined to do… well, _something_. 

“Shoo!” He cried, slipping his arm out of Todd’s loose hold and striding forward to wave an arm at the large birds. “You weren’t invited!”

“Dirk,” Todd warned, sounding a little fearful. “Maybe we should just leave it.”

“Don’t be silly, Todd.” Dirk insisted, glancing over his shoulder to shoot Todd a confident grin and firmly attempting to ignore Farah and Amanda, who had stopped dancing and were watching the scene with matching wide, enraptured gazes. “This isn’t their wedding, after all.” 

“It’s not ours, either.” Todd pointed out, quite unhelpfully. “Come on. We can get more food if you want it.” 

“It’s not that!” Dirk cried, turning again to slowly approach the now wary looking geese. “It’s the principal of the thing!”

“Is the ‘principal’ worth getting attacked by two angry birds?” Todd shot back, and Dirk could practically see his Todd’s nose wrinkling in his irritation.

“It is.” He replied simply, “Now if you’ll--” He was cut off, suddenly, by one of the geese honking indignantly, flapping its- rather large- wings and tiptoeing forward.

“Dirk?” Todd called cautiously.

Dirk opened his mouth to reply, when three things happened in very rapid succession.

The bird closest to Dirk shot forward, flapping its wings irritably so close to Dirk’s knees that the latter stumbled backward, nearly backing into Todd, with a startled cry.

“Dirk!” Todd snapped, “Just--”

“Run!” Dirk interrupted, turning and giving Todd a desperate look before taking off across the field, ignoring Todd’s affronted cry sounding from behind in favor of avoiding the two large geese who, with a synchronized honk of attack, began to chase after him.

(Which was ridiculous, Dirk bemoaned. Birds shouldn’t be so adept at keeping up with someone who had spent as much of their life running from terrifying situations as he had.)

A warning yell sounded from up the hill, and Dirk had very little time to actually consider what it might have been for before his foot caught on the root of a nearby tree, and he let out a startled yelp, losing his balance and--

And falling, headfirst, off the side of the small hill and into the lake with spectacular _splash_. He thrashed around in panic, for a moment, determined to continue on and escape the approaching birds, before his senses caught up with him, and he calmed enough to notice that the geese had long given up the chase, and were now waddling in satisfaction back toward his and Todd’s abandoned meal.

Dirk sighed in defeat, resisting the urge to fall back and submerge himself again in his defeat and instead sat, propped up by his elbows in the shallow water, and studied the now thoroughly muddied knees of his grey suit poking out of the water.

“Dirk!” Todd cried, appearing over the edge of the hill not a moment later, his forehead screwed up in concern. “What the hell were you thinking?”

“Oh, just that my brand new suit needed a bit of a washing.” Dirk murmured moodily and glanced away, his lower lip protruding into something close to a pout. Todd blinked, as if somewhat taken aback, as Farah and Amanda rushed over and appeared over the side of the hill, as well. 

Amanda opened her mouth to say something ( _Probably more mocking_ , Dirk thought mulishly), when she was interrupted by one of the most beautiful sounds Dirk had ever had the pleasure of hearing in his life. 

Todd was _laughing_. Not one of his usual, half-hearted chuckles or humored exhalations of breath, but a full on, lilting, falsetto _laugh_.

Dirk watched Todd’s face in wide-eyed fascination, his stomach flipping at the bright, happy flush that had begun to speckle the smaller man’s mirth-crinkled nose.

Amanda and Farah, too, it seemed were startled by the reaction. Farah opened and shut her mouth multiple times in rapid succession, as if she were trying to come up with something to counter the behavior with, and failing miserably. Amanda’s forehead was wrinkled in shock, though Dirk could see something close to a satisfied smirk on her lips.

“I’m--” Todd took a deep, calming breath. “I’m glad you’re okay.” He extended a hand down to Dirk, after a moment, looking suddenly a little uncomfortable, the tips of his ears flushing an embarrassed red at Farah and Amanda’s continued silence.

Dirk smiled, softly, at first, before it spread into a bright, delighted grin. “Me too.” He replied, taking Todd’s hand and allowing the smaller man to help him to his feet. 

“Dude, that was hilarious.” Amanda finally spoke up, when Dirk was safely back on the hill beside them. “Probably the best thing I could have asked for at my wedding, if I’m honest.”

“Yes, well.” Dirk shot her a wry look. “Glad I could be of entertainment.” He turned his attention back to Todd. “You should really laugh more often, you know. Five years we’ve known each other now, and I hardly ever hear it!” 

Amanda’s eyes widened, and Farah appeared to be biting back a delighted grin. 

Todd, however, frowned at the words, his face scrunching into an expression of disgust. “What? I-- It’s--” He gave Dirk a bewildered look. “You don’t know what you’re talking about, Dirk.” He huffed- though the attempt was mild, at best- before turning and striding back up the hill and toward the reception moodily.

Dirk watched him go, his smile dimming into something small and fond, and realized belatedly that, in that moment, he was happier than he’d ever anticipated he could be.

And when Todd turned and glanced over his shoulder a moment later to shoot him a small, exasperated smile, Dirk knew that he felt the same.


	2. Baby

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> based on the following prompt from [jaywani](http://jaywani.tumblr.com)  
>  **Dirk learning about pet names for lovers from a movie and trying to use them...**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (i admittedly switched things up a small bit, but i hope you'll like it, all the same)

It started over breakfast.

Todd was sat across from Dirk at the small kitchen table in his apartment, staring listlessly into his near-full cup of black coffee and blinking in short rapid spurts, as if trying to wake himself up through willpower alone.

It had been a long week for the both of them. Three separate cases and Farah being out of town had ensured that much. Dirk hid a yawn behind his elbow, glancing out of the corner of his eye again at his companion. Todd, it seemed, had taken the brunt of the exhaustion. While Dirk was (generally) able to bounce back quite easily after many long, restless nights- ready to move on to the next problem at hand with renewed enthusiasm at the beginning of each day- Todd was a bit of a different story. 

All this to say, Dirk found that even his boundless energy had its limitations. Three cases, two sleepless nights, and one grumpy assistant was quite enough to propel him straight into a state of near-exhaustion, it seemed.

And, he was soon to discover, in his exhausted state he was somewhat prone to letting certain things… _slip_. 

“Could you pass the cereal please, dear?” Dirk mumbled, hiding another yawn behind his hand and extending the other to accept the requested box.

Todd froze, his coffee halfway to his mouth, and gazed at Dirk, his eyes widening almost comically over the rim of the mug. “Dirk,” He began, choking the words out, really, and slowly placed the coffee back onto the table with a soft _thud_ , “Dirk, I– What?”

“I asked if you’d pass the cereal.” Dirk replied, furrowing his brow in confusion, before his previous words caught up with him and he felt his own eyes widening slightly, “That is I– I didn’t–”

Todd stood, so suddenly that Dirk nearly shrank back, and gazed at Dirk for another long, pensive moment.

“I, um–” He coughed, “I need to…” He trailed off, giving Dirk another long and contemplative look (and _really_ , he shouldn’t have looked quite as shocked as he did) before he moved off toward the bathroom without another word.

Dirk watched him go, feeling the first prickles of something other than the initial bewilderment at his own actions begin to prickle in his chest. “Have fun!” He called brightly, nearly grinning at the strangled sound Todd made before slamming the bathroom door shut forcefully behind himself.

Dirk turned back to the table a moment later, his satisfied smirk slowing dying as he contemplated the slip and, more specifically, the bright red flush crawling up Todd’s neck as soon as the words (the _word_ ) had registered in his mind.

Dirk swallowed, his own cheeks starting to feel a little warm at the thought. “Oh, shit.”

—

They didn’t talk about the moment after that, though Dirk found the entire incident a little hard to forget, if he was being honest. And, however much he wanted to deny it, he soon found himself becoming a little antsy for an opportunity to test the theory again.

His opportunity came, as it turned out, a few weeks later as they’re seated at opposite ends of the Detective Agency office.

Todd was seated on the sofa they’d somehow managed to squeeze into the small room, his laptop balanced on his knees and a pencil eraser caught firmly between his teeth.

Farah was sat to Dirk’s left, her brow furrowed as she pored over the agency’s expenses which sat spread out before her on the desk. (And honestly, Dirk thought, he really should thank Farah for everything she did more often.) 

Dirk’s gaze flitted between the papers he had spread before where his elbows were perched on the edge of the desk (potential cases that he was supposed to be reviewing) and Todd himself, the memories he (quite frankly) he hadn’t had time to consider until now of that breakfast weeks ago rising back to the surface of his mind.

The room was quiet, save for the occasional click of Todd’s pointer fingers on the keys of his laptop, and Dirk was suddenly struck with the realization that this was his chance; the Universe was offering him another opportunity.

Which just left the question of _which_ word might prompt a similar reaction from Todd. He couldn’t use _dear_ again, he mused, and _dearest_ seemed too similar. He could use something more traditional, like _love_ , but it somehow didn’t seem to be quite casual enough for their current setting. Dirk made a face, disappointed at his own lack of creativity. _It shouldn’t have to be so difficult,_ he thought with a frustrated huff, ready to give up and try again later. Unless… Dirk perked up slightly, and cast another glance in Todd’s direction. 

“Todd,” He called, hesitantly, ignoring the curious look Farah shot him and the way Todd practically startled to attention at the sudden noise, “Would you mind taking a look at this, honey?” The words sounded awkward and forced, Dirk thought immediately, trying not to grimace outright.

Dirk noticed Farah’s reaction before anything else. Her brows rose nearly to her hairline, and her jaw dropped open before the action seemed to catch up with her, and she snapped it closed with an audible _click_ , turning to give Dirk a wildly bewildered look.

Todd, it seemed, felt similarly. His face, after smoothing out in his initial shock, scrunched up into an expression Dirk could only describe as disgust. 

“ _Don’t_ call me that.” He snapped, the warning ringing out very clearly through the words, and nearly tossed his laptop to the side before he seemed to think better of the action and gently placed it onto the sofa next to him. He stood, then, and glanced between Dirk and the front door contemplatively. 

Dirk was briefly afraid that he would turn and exit entirely, leaving Dirk to bemoan his own mistake in silence, before Todd exhaled an exasperated huff and stalked over to the desk side. “What do you want me to look at?” He muttered, leaning over to study the papers laid out before Dirk in curiosity. 

Dirk found himself unable to stop the racing of his pulse at the sudden proximity, and cleared his throat, glancing between the words swimming on the papers before them and Todd himself. (The smaller man smelt faintly of aftershave, and Dirk found himself suddenly a little dizzy.)

“I, um–” Dirk coughed again, “I’ve quite forgotten.” And though he couldn’t necessarily see it, Dirk could practically _feel_ Farah rolling her eyes. 

Todd blinked, furrowing his brow before drawing back and giving Dirk one of those long looks he seemed so fond of.

“Right.” He replied, glancing hastily between Farah and Dirk himself, “I’m going to get us more coffee, then.” He turned on his heel and, with one last fleeting glance cast in Dirk’s direction, seemed to fairly trot out the front door.

Dirk blinked, willing his pulse to slow to a somewhat more reasonable rate, before he turned back to meet Farah’s eyes hesitantly. He opened his mouth to speak (though what he intended to say, he wasn’t entirely sure), but Farah quickly raised a hand and halted any words that might have thought about escaping.

“I don’t want to know.” She demanded, her face twisting in confusion, almost as if she didn’t know whether she should laugh or cry. “Just… I don’t think he liked that one.” She turned back to her work then, refusing to meet Dirk’s eye again.

Dirk exhaled a weary breath. “I’d have to agree.” He murmured, though was kept from complete disappointment as he recalled the faint blush that had appeared on Todd’s cheeks as he’d exited the room.

Not all hope was lost then, perhaps. 

—

Nearly a week had gone by following the second… incident, and Dirk was no closer to his goal than he had been previously. 

What that goal was, per se, he wasn’t entirely sure. He was, however, completely dedicated to finding out what it might be, and reaching it before he and Todd were both too old, and too exhausted, for such shenanigans.

He had, however, exhausted a near extensive list of pet names for Todd in the short span of time that had passed, and had narrowed the list of potentials considerably.

The verdict being that Todd seemed to approve of none of the proffered pet names, and seemed to be catching onto his attempts with some commendable detective work of his own. If his narrowed eyes and considerably toned down reactions Dirk’s continued efforts were anything to go by, that is. He was far more observant than Dirk gave him credit for, sometimes.

The thought in mind, Dirk considered that it might be for the best to let this particular… _infatuation_ go entirely, and move on to further prospects that might be more enjoyable for each party involved. (Dirk had never seen Farah so uncomfortable as she had been following the incident in the office, and he felt somewhat bad about that, thinking back.)

Dirk allowed the entire mess to drop from his mind as let himself into Todd’s apartment (now his and Todd’s, really) wearily and cast his gaze around the room, noting with some disappointment that Todd didn’t seem to be at home, currently.

“Todd?” He called, just in case, nearly startling when a muffled commotion sounded from the bathroom, not a moment later.

“Todd?” He repeated, approaching the closed door and knocking timidly, “Todd, are you in there?” He furrowed his brow when only silence answered him and leaned forward to press his ear to the door, drawing back in shock not seconds later when he heard the soft, gentle breaths on the other side of the wood.

“Todd, I’m coming in.” He declared, firmly, reaching forward to grip the doorknob before a harried call of, “ _Stop_!” made him freeze in his actions.

Dirk drew back, and a moment later a soft scuffle came from behind the bathroom door before it opened, slowly, to reveal a weary looking Todd leaning against the counter for support, his face drained of nearly all its color.

“Todd!” Dirk yelped, and strode forward so that he was stood barely a foot from his smaller companion, “What’s happened?”

Todd grimaced, and met Dirk’s gaze reluctantly, “Nothing, I just…”

“Are you sick?” Dirk demanded, when it seemed as if Todd wasn’t going to continue.

Todd exhaled a humorless chuckle. “You could say that.”

Dirk furrowed his brow and opened his mouth to express his confusion, before the words truly caught up with him and he felt his heart sink slowly. “You had an attack.” Todd didn’t reply, but the almost desperate look he gave Dirk spoke enough for him.

“Alright.” Dirk nodded hastily, “I–Um. How long has it, um, been and–”

“I don’t know.” Todd interrupted with a shrug, “A bit, now. Sorry–”

“Don’t apologize.” It was Dirk’s turn to interrupt. He extended a hand and let it hover inches away from Todd. When it seemed that Todd wasn’t going to recoil, Dirk curled his hand securely around his elbow with what he hoped was an encouraging smile.

Todd huffed a small smile of his own, and allowed himself to be led out of the bathroom doorway, something Dirk counted as a serious victory, as far as “relationship progression” went.

Something about the innate trust behind the action must have flipped some unknown, dusty switch in Dirk’s mind, however, and gave him an unnoticed boost of confidence he had otherwise been lacking in the past. 

“Let’s get you to bed, baby.” Dirk murmured, and he turned to lead Todd toward the bed in the corner when his own words belatedly caught up with him and he froze, his eyes, trained firmly ahead, widening in shock.

It had been a mistake. A simple slip-up that, Dirk lamented, didn’t even sound casual enough to be completely accidental; but was, all the same. 

From behind, Dirk could hear Todd swallowing, and inhaling a slow, steadying breath. “Dirk–” 

“I’m sorry!” Dirk cried, spinning around to face Todd with a pleading look, and releasing Todd’s elbow in the process. “It was a mistake. I would never– You’re not well, and–”

“Dirk.” Todd interrupted firmly, taking a step forward and extending both hands to grip at Dirk’s own elbows gently. “It’s okay. I’m fine.” Which was when Dirk’s senses caught up with him completely, and he noticed the deep red blush staining the skin of Todd’s cheekbones, deepening around his nose and jaw. 

He blinked, searching Todd’s eyes (suddenly much brighter than they had been moments ago, Dirk was certain) for any sign of hesitation before he leaned forward, haltingly, and placed a soft, feather-light kiss against the warm skin of Todd’s cheek.

Todd’s eyes fluttered closed at the contact and Dirk, encouraged, moved to place another kiss against the rough stubble on his jaw.

“It’s okay, baby.” He whispered, his own feelings of foolishness evaporating when Todd inhaled a sharp, audible breath, and pressed almost desperately closer. Dirk pressed a long kiss to the pulse point at Todd’s jaw in return. “ _Baby_.”

“ _Dirk_.” Todd murmured back, his eyes remaining closed as his brow furrowed tightly. He let out a strained sounding groan when Dirk moved to suck slightly at the skin of his neck, his breaths quickening into wheezy sounding gasps. “I–I know what you’ve been doing.” He huffed out. 

Dirk fought back a smile, and pressed a long kiss to the area he’d been working at before moving his attention lower, to press a line of slow, gentle kisses along Todd’s collarbone, impatiently batting the collar of the smaller man’s flannel out of the way. “Do you?”

“This–” Todd whined a little, his hands moving from Dirk’s elbows to grip at Dirk’s waist, “This whole. Pet name thing. You’re not as– _nn–_ not as subtle as you think, y’know.” He chuckled breathlessly. 

Dirk hummed noncommittally, forcing himself to hold back when Todd practically keened as he bit down sharply on one of the collarbones beneath his lips. “And is it working?” He inquired breathily.

Todd grunted, “What?” 

“The pet names.” Dirk replied with forced casualty, pressing one last firm kiss to the abused skin of Todd’s collarbone before lifting his head to meet Todd’s gaze. “Are they working?” 

Todd looked a little bereft at the lack of contact, and he stepped closer, his low-lidded gaze tracing Dirk’s lips for a long moment before he seemed to force himself to meet Dirk’s eyes. “If I say yes, will you keep going?”

“Absolutely.” Dirk replied breathlessly, and without hesitation.

Todd’s face split into a small grin, “Then absolutely.”

Dirk returned the grin brightly, before leaning in to capture Todd’s lips happily beneath his own, pressing forward with just enough force to propel the two of them back until the back of Todd’s calves bumped into the edge of the sofa. 

“Love.” Dirk whispered, fervently, breaking the kiss to gasp for air before pressing a sloppy kiss the already reddening skin of Todd’s neck, “ _Baby…_ ” He whispered against the skin. 

Todd whimpered, his grip on Dirk’s waist tightening to the point of it almost being painful, were Dirk not so grateful for the grounding contact.

Todd broke away not moments later, however, and fell back onto the couch, dragging Dirk down with him after a brief hesitation and grinning outright when Dirk burrowed closer, immediately resuming his attentions on the skin around Todd’s jaw.

“ _Lovely…_ ” 

“Okay, Dirk.” Todd cut in, though the words lacked any real heat. “You’re gonna have to take it easy on the names, there.”

Dirk paused, lifting his head to meet Todd’s eyes, now quite suspiciously bright and a little red-rimmed, and quirked a smile. “Whatever you say, love.”

Todd sucked in a trembling breath, before he exhaled a watery chuckle, his cheeks dimpling delightfully. “I love you.” He blurted, his forehead wrinkling as if he were confused by his own openness, but his smile remaining firmly in place, all the same. “I–I know I don’t say it enough but…”

Dirk blinked, a little taken aback, as well, before his own mouth stretched into a wide, helpless grin. He leaned forward to press his smile firmly against Todd’s for a long moment before he pulled back to rest his forehead against the other man’s, closing his eyes and allowing himself to simply _be_ for the moment, his heart full near to bursting.

“You too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks so much again for the prompts, friends! i'm currently working on filling more, but am always accepting new prompts (+headcanons/chatting in general) over at my [blog!](http://elijahwoodnot.tumblr.com)  
> thank you for reading! ❤️


	3. found the breath i was searching for;

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> based on the following prompt from anonymous:  
>  **Dirk and Todd go to a bar and shit gets gay**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope you like it, anon!!  
> (*chapter warnings: fyi there is a **brief** scene in this chapter wherein a character makes some unwelcome advances on another character. the issue is quickly resolved and goes no further. just be aware!)  
>  (title stolen from the 21p song _taxi cab_ which i've never even heard. i just like the lyrics tbh ❤️)

Thus far, the cases presented to Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency had delivered the (some unwilling) members of the agency itself into some particularly… interesting situations, Todd would not deny this fact.

He did, however, think that he might be somewhere close to finally putting his foot down (for good) and drawing the line when one of these destinations happened to be a gay bar at the end of West Seattle.

“Come on, Todd!” Dirk prompted eagerly, latching onto Todd’s elbow and beginning to drag him toward the worn looking, metal doored entrance to the club, the heavy bass from inside already noticeably pulsating out into the cool evening air.

Todd hesitated, glancing between Dirk and the door warily, before he dug his heels into the ground and wrenched his arm out of Dirk’s hold in order to cross his arms moodily. Dirk turned in confusion to discover the reason for their stopping, only to roll his eyes petulantly when he caught sight of Todd’s expression.

“Oh, come on, then!” He cried in exasperation, “Surely this isn’t the oddest place one of our cases has led us, you have to admit.”

“I don’t know, Dirk.” Todd argued, well aware of how petulant he sounded, his shoulders tensing slightly when a particularly enthusiastic shriek sounded from the open window of the building before them. “Are you sure our guy’s in _there_?”

Dirk made a face. “What’s to say he’s not?”

“Do you actually have any proof?” Todd accused, standing firm and forcing himself not to bend in the face of Dirk’s pout. “Besides this being a… Universe thing?”

“It’s more of a hunch, really.” Dirk replied with a shrug, then grinned widely, suddenly appearing a bit manic. “But just think! There’s nothing telling us that he’s not in here, either!” He turned again and began striding back toward the building.

“Are you sure there’s not like…” Todd trailed off when Dirk turned back to face him, his eyebrows rising in curiosity. Todd shrugged and winced a little. “Like. Another reason for this?”

Dirk blinked, his brows furrowing in confusion. “What do you mean, ‘another reason’?”

Todd opened his mouth to reply, before letting is close again and frowning a bit. His previously intoned inquiries sounding, now that he considered it, a little lame. What was he supposed to say? _We can go out some other time, some other place, if you want to go out._ Or even, _Is there any reason that you, particularly, might want to go to a gay club, Dirk?_

There had to be more subtle ways of figuring things out for himself, Todd decided firmly, and he shrugged again. “Just… Nevermind.” He strode forward, firmly ignoring Dirk’s curious gaze following him as he passed and approached the door. “Let’s just get this over with.”

Dirk appeared at his side not a moment later and shot him a gleeful smile. “Excellent assisting, Todd.” He nodded approvingly. “I dig the enthusiasm.”

Todd rolled his eyes histrionically, but moved forward when Dirk threw the door open and entered the club, anyway.

Inside, the main room was dark, save for a handful of multicolored lights attached haphazardly along the ceiling, and scattered around what appeared to be the dance floor in the middle of the room.

Dirk grinned again before moving eagerly forward and toward a particularly large clump of individuals cluttered along the edge of the dance floor.

Todd watched him go, sighing and making to follow after when he caught sight of the bar (that had clearly seen better days) at the corner of the room. He hesitated, glancing at Dirk again and determining that the man was most definitely going to remain within his line of sight from the bar, before he began to wander in that direction.

“Todd?” Dirk called, turning back and frowning when he noticed Todd’s retreat. “Where are you going?”

Todd turned back and glanced at him over his shoulder, furrowing his brow before gesturing vaguely at the bar.

“Wait!” Dirk yelped, striding forward so he could continue to follow. “Don’t you think-- We’re on a case!”

“A case you determined would lead us to a gay bar.” Todd replied, trying to keep any unnecessary brashness from his tone. “I’m just trying to deal with the situation.”

“You!” Dirk gaped, drawing up to the bar alongside Todd. “You can’t just-- As your-- as your boss, I forbid it.”

Todd quirked a brow. “My boss?”

“Quite.” Dirk replied with a curt nod, all traces of a smile suddenly gone from his face.

Todd studied him another moment, before shaking his head and turning back to the bar, a mental list of drink options already running through his mind and leaving little room otherwise for considering the offended scoff Dirk let out not a moment later.

“Todd,” Dirk cautioned, leaning into his line of sight (Todd forced himself to keep his gaze trained firmly on the rack of liquor ahead, rather than becoming distracted by the way the hazy violet light of the club darkened the hollows beneath Dirk’s cheekbones, or elongated the shadows cast by his eyelashes…) “If you order even one drink I’ll be forced to-- to demote you.”

Todd snorted, finally allowing himself to shoot Dirk a wry glance from the corner of his eye. “I’m already a, what was it? A ward? How much worse could it get?”

Dirk gaped, and opened his mouth to reply when the bartender noticed them and strode over to their side. Todd watched as the man glanced at the both of them before letting his gaze linger approvingly on Dirk, his smile widening to the point of it appearing almost painful.

“What can I get you guys?” He inquired, his eyes flittering from Dirk only a moment as he spoke before they moved back as if drawn magnetically.

Todd tried not to bristle noticeably, and instead focused his attention on ordering a beer. ( _The darker the better,_ he thought, suddenly a little moody).

The man nodded distantly in reply, though he remained looking at Dirk. “And for you?”

Dirk, previously narrowing his eyes disapprovingly in Todd’s direction, glanced upward with a frown. “Pardon?” The man laughed (loudly and a bit over the top, Todd thought) and repeated the question. “Oh, I-- Um…” Dirk opened and closed his mouth a couple of times, before turning to peg Todd with a helpless, flabbergasted look.

“You may as well, while we’re here.” Todd commented with a shrug, before turning his attention back to the counter, studying the sticky stains on the surface with a newfound fascination.

“I’ll have a black opal.” Dirk finally piped up, with such confidence that Todd nearly spun around in surprise.

The bartender laughed again, though Todd couldn’t really understand why. “Coming right up.” He turned to fulfill the requests, calling over his shoulder. “My name’s Stephen, if you need anything. Love the accent, by the way.”

Todd felt his eyes widen, his nose crinkling in distaste. One glance at Dirk proved to only increase the feeling. The taller man’s cheeks were dusted a light pink, his eyebrows so high they almost reached his hairline, and his mouth hung slightly open.

When he noticed Todd watching from beneath a furrowed brow, Dirk attempted to school his expression. “Nice man.” He commented, coughing slightly.

Todd’s frown deepened. “I’m not sure about him.” He replied airily, giving Dirk another long look before turning back to the bar.

Their drinks arrived, along with another bright grin from Stephen, and Todd drank gratefully, firmly attempting to ignore the sinking feeling he could feel in the pit of his stomach when Dirk happily followed suit.

He wouldn’t necessarily call himself a man who experienced too many hunches on a daily basis (not nearly as many as Dirk seemed to, at any rate), but as Todd watched Dirk finishing his drink off happily before almost immediately ordering another, he could easily admit that he had a hunch that the rest of the evening was going to be a terrific disaster.

\---

Three beers of his own later (and two drinks of Dirk’s own), Todd felt more or less the same about the entire situation.

After finishing his second drink, Dirk had glanced at Todd before announcing cheerfully that he was going to “investigate” the dance floor, and had flounced off, leaving Todd gaping at his retreating form before he had forced himself to turn firmly back to the bar and take a seat, reminding himself that he wasn’t Dirk Gently’s babysitter. The man was an adult, and could do whatever the hell he pleased, as far as Todd was concerned.

_Whatever the hell he pleased,_ as it turned out, seemed to be dancing in the middle of a throng of sweaty strangers, and receiving plenty of attention in doing so.

He’d returned to the bar twice since the initial dancing had begun, both times to order another drink ( _Not his babysitter,_ Todd had reminded himself forcefully, and ordered another beer to keep up) and once to exclaim, breathlessly, _“This is really quite a place, Todd! Why haven’t we been here before?”_

Todd, neglecting to comment on just what visiting a place like…this together would have said about the two of them, had simply shrugged and torn his gaze roughly from the collar of Dirk’s powder pink shirt, now dampened slightly in perspiration, to stare at the various puddles surrounding the bar stools.

He watched now, far past caring how obvious his glances were becoming, as Dirk swayed on the dance floor, barely given a moment to himself before another patron of the bar would sidle up next to him and place their hands wherever the hell _they_ pleased, apparently.

(And each time it happened, Todd had to swallow past the sudden thickness in his throat, his cheeks suddenly flaming and his frown deepening.)

Multiple times he’d had to stop himself from lurching upright from his barstool and striding across the room until he was at Dirk’s side, pulling each new dance partner firmly away and--

_And what?_ Todd groaned slightly and took another long swig of his beer, frowning in disappointment at the now empty glass in his hand and, with one last glance at where Dirk was dancing (another man’s hands gripping almost _dangerously_ low at his hips), turned to signal the bartender again.

“Ready for round five?” The bartender ( _Stephen_ , Todd reminded himself, ignoring the bubbling irritation he could feel pulsing along with the heavy bass from the club’s shitty speakers.)

“What?” He inquired, blinking at the man blearily.

Stephen’s sunny grin faltered, but held firm in the end. “Round five?” He repeated, before leaning close, his elbows on the bar now and his face far closer than Todd would have appreciated. “Listen, buddy. You don’t look so good. Are you sure you shouldn’t call it quits? Get your boyfriend home?”

Todd blinked, suddenly a little unsure of just how much of an effect the four beers had had on him. “What?” He repeated. “No, I, uh. Boyfriend?”

“I mean, I’m not saying he’s not having a good time.” Stephen commented, smiling a little in the direction of the dance floor. “But he’s getting a little close to his limit now, too, I think. Why don’t you pack it up? I can get your check right now.”

“I’m fine.” Todd replied immediately, feeling suddenly a little defensive. “Dirk’s fine. And we’re-- we’re not…”

Stephen furrowed his brow, looking a little confused before apprehension suddenly dawned on his face. “Oh, my bad.” He replied and drew back a little, dropping his gaze and beginning to scrub at one of the stains on the bar with a rag produced from the pocket of his apron. “I just assumed. The way he looked at you, I thought--”

“What?” Todd repeated for what felt like the hundredth time. “No, we’re not-- He’s just like that. He’s just Dirk.”

“Whatever you say.” Stephen agreed, scoffing a laugh, before his smile disappeared and he glanced over Todd’s shoulder with a frown. “Though I meant what I said. Your boyfriend-- friend. Just Dirk, whatever. He looks like he might not be enjoying himself quite as much, now.”

Todd blinked and frowned before the words caught up with him and he turned, just in time to catch one of the men on the dance floor elbow his way past Dirk’s current dance partner and, before either Dirk or Todd could react, reach out and grab at Dirk’s ass roughly.

Todd caught one look at the appalled and somewhat horrified expression crossing Dirk’s face, and jumped up from his bar stool before he could rethink the reaction, his affronted cry of, “Hey!” matching Dirk’s own.

The man, who stood taller than Dirk (and a good deal meatier), didn’t seem to take the hint. With a quirked smile he moved forward so that he was pressed almost entirely up against Dirk’s side, ignoring Dirk batting at his hands, and tightened his hold.

“Stop,” Dirk cried, struggling slightly against the hold. “ _Stop_!”

Todd felt his blood begin to boil in fury, and before he could stop himself was striding across the dance floor until he was able to draw directly up to the man’s side. He forced himself between the two of them, ignoring Dirk’s surprised expression and shoving at the larger man’s chest with a strength that surprised even himself, forcing him to take a stumbling step backward.

“Hey, man!” Todd cried, standing as tall as he could physically make himself and jutting his chin out defiantly. “Fuck off!”

The moment was over far quicker than Todd expected. One second he was stood resolutely between the man and Dirk, and the next the man was lashing out, his fist striking the side of Todd’s face with a disheartening _thud_.

Todd dropped like a stone. His back hit the floor and he curled instantly inward, bracing himself for another blow that never came. A muted hush fell over the group surrounding them, the music cutting out not a moment later.

Todd hazarded a glance upward just in time to see the man glaring balefully down at him, before he turned and began striding hastily toward the exit; probably before he was forced to face any consequences.

“Todd.” Dirk murmured, appearing in Todd’s line of vision with a horrified expression scrunching his face. “Are you alright?”

“I’ll live.” Todd grunted, and with Dirk’s assistance propped himself up so that he was leaning back with one arm bracing him, with the other he reached up to prod tentatively at the side of his face, which already felt slightly swollen. “Are you okay?” He inquired, the reason for his sudden injury catching up with him. He turned to face Dirk, worry furrowing his brow.

“I--” Dirk trailed off, pursing his lips thoughtfully before he nodded. “I’ll live.”

Todd huffed a weary smile. “Let’s get out of here.” He groaned, allowing Dirk to help him to his feet.

After stopping to pay their check (Todd making sure to pause and give Stephen a weak smile of thanks), they did as suggested and retreated quickly out into the brisk evening air.

Todd sucked in a breath, watching his exhale cloud before his face, and turned to give Dirk an appraising look. The man was stood a few feet from Todd himself, his hands gripping the bottom of his red jacket and his gaze trained listlessly ahead.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Todd asked, not liking the way Dirk’s gaze snapped almost frantically to meet his. “That asshole didn’t do anything else, did he?”

“No.” Dirk replied, immediately, his tone reassuringly steady. “We hadn’t interacted, before that.” He paused, his eyebrows knitting together as he seemed to study Todd. “Are _you_ alright?”

“I’m fine.” Todd replied, following Dirk’s gaze to where it rested on his hands-- his hands, which were trembling faintly at his sides. He quickly stuffed them into the pockets of his jeans and shot Dirk a small smile. “I will be, anyway.”

Dirk nodded, though he didn’t return the smile. “What you did, Todd. It was-- Well, it was really--”

“Don’t.” Todd interrupted, frowning. “I should have been paying more attention.” He glanced away, studying the toes of his sneakers. “I shouldn’t have let it happen at all.”

“ _You_ weren’t the one being somewhat… outrageous on the dance floor.” Dirk commented drily. He seemed to hesitate a moment before he moved forward, stopping only when Todd could see the toe of one of his oxfords out of the corner of his eye. “It isn’t your fault. What you did was very much appreciated.”

Todd scoffed, raising his eyes to meet Dirk’s. “I’m sure you would have had plenty of other worthy defenders, in there.” He replied, before he could stop the comment from escaping, feeling a small shred of his earlier irritation flare up.

(He frowned at his own openness not a moment later, wondering if maybe the previous drinks hadn’t worn off as much as he’d originally assumed.)

“I’d much prefer it to be you, actually.” Dirk responded casually, the words hanging on the air a long moment before they seemed to catch up with him, and his eyes widened fractionally as the comment registered.

Todd’s own brain seemed to have come to a screeching halt. He felt his brow wrinkle in confusion, and his mouth gaping open entirely unattractively at the admission. “You-- What, Dirk?” He exclaimed.

Dirk took a long, deep breath, seeming to be working himself up to something before he turned his gaze slowly back to meet Todd’s. “I’d rather it be you.” He repeated, though much slower this time, and with much more significance placed on each word.

Todd inhaled a steadying breath of his own, releasing it on a shaky exhale, and before he could stop himself was moving forward and approaching Dirk slowly. The other man watched him approach, his gaze wide and aware, and took a few steps back to match Todd’s own forward, until his back was brushing the bricks of the building behind them.

“You--” Todd glanced down, his eyes resting listlessly on the loosened knot of Dirk’s tie for a long moment. “You don’t mean what you think you mean.”

“I obviously do.” Dirk argued, a touch of irritation coloring his tone. “I’m not a child, Todd.”

“You’re drunk, Dirk.” Todd pointed out at once. “You don’t know what you’re saying.”

“Todd.” Dirk cut in impatiently. “ _You’re_ quite sloshed, yourself.”

Todd decided to ignore the jab. He blinked, and met Dirk’s eyes hesitantly. “If you’re saying what-- what I think…” He trailed off. “I can’t promise that I’ll be able to stop once I start, Dirk.”

Dirk scoffed, though an almost gleeful smile was beginning to spread across his face. “Well, get started, then!”

Todd frowned determinedly, nodding once (just as much a reminder to himself as it was to Dirk) before he propelled himself forward and sealed his lips firmly over Dirk’s.

Dirk let out a joyful noise, opening his mouth eagerly beneath Todd’s ministrations, and raising his hands so that he could tangle them tightly in the fabric of Todd’s flannel at his waist.

Waiting for no further invitation, Todd pushed forward enthusiastically, his hands gripping at the lapels of Dirk’s jacket as he pressed Dirk firmly back against the brick wall.

Dirk made a noise of approval, and allowed Todd to explore his lips hungrily for a moment, before he tilted his head and began nibbling, experimentally and haltingly, at Todd’s bottom lip.

Todd let out a strangled keening noise at the attention, pulling away a moment later and gasping for air. “Fuck!” He cried, his pulse racing when he caught sight of Dirk’s elated grin. “Shit!”

“Indeed.” Dirk agreed, though the cool demeanor was somewhat discredited by the breathlessness of his own tone. He glanced at Todd’s face questioningly. “Can we-- I mean. This isn’t a... one time thing, is it?”

“God, no.” Todd replied immediately, barely restraining himself from lurching forward and wrapping his arms giddily around Dirk’s shoulders. “This isn’t a one time thing.”

“Good.” Dirk nodded approvingly. “Does that mean that I can do it again?”

“Fuck yes.” Todd breathed, moving forward as Dirk did the same and crushing their lips together with a groan.

They remained like that for a long moment, taking turns exploring and cataloging each other’s various reactions, before Dirk drew back slightly, his nose bumping Todd’s as they both panted heavily. “I want to…” He trailed off, before clearing his throat and attempting again, “Can I try something?”

“Anything.” Todd whispered.

Dirk nodded, glancing up to meet his eyes briefly before he leaned down (stopping briefly to brush his lips softly against the swollen bruise at Todd’s cheekbone) and pressed a long, sloppy kiss to the pulse point just beneath Todd’s jaw.

“Fuck!” Todd yelped, his hands rising to grip at Dirk’s shoulders. “Jesus _Christ_ , Dirk.”

Dirk hummed approvingly against the skin, kissing the same spot again almost reverently before he opened his mouth and, before Todd could react, sucked sharply, his teeth nipping at the skin.

“ _Ah_ ,” Todd whimpered, biting sharply down on his own lip (which was trembling almost embarrassingly) to keep himself from crying out again. “ _Dirk_! Holy shit, Dirk. Stop! Stop stop stop.” He skittered away, feeling a little guilty when Dirk looked almost crestfallen at the lack of contact.

“You didn’t like it?” Dirk murmured, pouting a bit.

Todd bit back a groan at the sight. “No,” He insisted, immediately, feeling a little better about his own reaction when Dirk looked a little less distraught, and instead tilted his head in confusion. “I-- Um. I liked it. A lot.” He flushed at his own openness, but forced himself to maintain eye contact.

Dirk quirked a brow. “Then what’s wrong?”

Todd paused, before shaking his head slightly and stepping forward again to place a long, chaste kiss against Dirk’s lips. “I think I’d rather be home for this, if you’re gonna keep surprising me like that.” He murmured, when they drew apart.

Dirk blinked, before his eyes widened, and grinned approvingly. “Excellent suggestion, Todd.” He nodded eagerly. “Let’s go at once.”

Todd nodded in agreement, and hesitated, glancing down briefly, before reaching forward and tangling their hands together.

If Dirk’s wildly gleeful smile was anything to go by, he’d made the right decision.

Maybe, Todd thought as they turned in unison and began striding back toward home, the evening wasn’t going to end quite as disastrously as he’d originally anticipated.

When Dirk tightened his grip on Todd’s hand slightly, and turned to offer him a small, private grin, Todd knew without a doubt that he was right.


	4. sweetest distraction;

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> based on the following prompt from anonymous:  
>  ** _Kisses Meant To Distract The Other Person From Whatever They Were Intently Doing_**

It had been 5 days since the case had Officially begun, and Dirk was Officially near the end of his rope; all the leads he’d followed thus far having led to absolutely inconsequential rabbit trails, or ending in absolute disaster (this latter fact could, quite vocally, be backed up by his increasingly grumpy assistant).

Dirk groaned dramatically from his seat on the edge of Todd’s sofa, and shifted so that he could prop his feet on one of the armrests, his head pillowed against the other. For the past hour, he’d been sat there, willing the Universe to take pity on him and provide him with some kind ( _any_ kind) of lead, in retribution for throwing such a curveball of a case their way, and therefore a wrench in their otherwise comfortable lives. 

(A diamond hidden in one of the fish the fish throwing men at the Market were...throwing, _really_. It was unfair.)

Todd had watched him take a seat and assume a pensive expression with an exhausted one of his own, had opened his mouth as if about to offer something before seemingly thinking better of it and grunting noncommittally, moving into the kitchen and rifling around noisily; for his lighter, Dirk assumed.

That had been nearly an hour prior, and nearly two joints (for Todd) earlier. Dirk groaned again, making sure to place emphasis on his exasperation and overall frustration with the entire situation, and craned his neck to locate where Todd had taken up residence on the bed not long ago; one blanket wrapped around his shoulders and another on his lap, his laptop open and illuminating his face in front of him and a joint clutched between his fingers.

Dirk was, therefore, a little shaken to find that Todd had disappeared from his comfortable perch, and was nowhere to be seen from Dirk’s point of view. 

With another grunt, Dirk turned his head to peg the window (the same window he’d fallen through the night he’d met Todd) with a stern glare, and forced himself to continue focusing on the task (the case) at hand, however irritating that prospect was turning out to be.

He found, with a small amount of exasperation, that his concentration was once again threatened not ten minutes later.

“Hey, Dirk?” The sound of the bathroom door banging closed echoed through the apartment, this coupled with Todd’s call making Dirk startle and jolt fractionally out of his reverie. “Do we have like-- any food? I know the answer to that, actually, but I’m starving. Do _you_ have any food?”

“In my apartment?” Dirk quirked a brow, and turned slightly to face Todd’s crinkled expression from the corner of his eye. “‘Fraid not.”

“Damn.” Todd murmured, his brow crinkling impossibly further as he eyed the kitchen warily. “Fuck. _Shit_. I’m starving.”

“You mentioned.” Dirk commented drily, before narrowing his eyes at the window once more, feeling as if _something_ were suddenly close, but quite unsure as to what that might be...or what form it might take.

“Right.” Todd cleared his throat in the way he sometimes did when he was attempting to sound less intoxicated than he really was (Dirk had had plenty of experience with the sound, especially in crowded pubs and bars), before a shuffling sounded, and Dirk was vaguely aware of Todd’s rifling through the fridge.

There was blessed silence for a long moment, and Dirk felt his mind beginning to (slowly) grasp at the threads the Universe had begun to hesitantly plant for him. Perhaps it wasn’t the Fish Men, after all, he considered. Perhaps the millionaire woman had been mistaken, and her divorced husband had moved on from the fish-throwing business before disposing of the diamond somewhere else. Or perhaps the specific, diamond swallowing fish had already been purchased, and the gemstone was in some poor, unsuspecting (or lucky, depending on how you viewed the situation) family’s oven right now. Perhaps it wasn’t even _in_ Seattle, and--

“Is this any good?” Todd piped up from the kitchen, effectively derailing Dirk’s intent train of thought, and waving a bag of cold pizza above his head. (Dirk couldn’t actually _see_ his small companion from where he was sat, but he was sure that he was holding the pizza).

“It’s old.” Dirk called back dismissively, furrowing his brow and desperately trying to regain his previous pattern of thought. 

“Oh.” Todd muttered, sounding a little put out. “Shit. What _can_ I eat?”

Dirk opted not to reply, instead focussing on the sudden fluttering of his pulse as he continued to evaluate the details of the case. The diamond _wasn’t_ in Seattle! He’d been right about that. Where _had_ it disappeared to, in that case? Was it near? Or--

“Dirk?” Dirk jolted slightly as Todd appeared in his line of sight, his elbows planted on the top of the sofa and a small furrow deepening between his brows. “What’s up?” 

“Thinking.” Dirk grunted, suddenly completely torn between following the _very_ gracious lead the Universe had provided him with, or reaching up to smooth Todd’s forehead wrinkles with his thumb. 

_Distracting man,_ Dirk thought irritably.

“Dirk?” Todd repeated, when he received no answer but Dirk’s own vaguely confused expression, and leaned forward slightly. “Hey, Dirk? What’s up?” 

“It’s not _here_ , Todd.” Dirk murmured, gesturing significantly with both hands, and forced himself to tear his gaze away from his companion and study the window again. “It’s--”

“C’mon, Dirk.” Todd was saying, and before Dirk could fully register the movement was leaning further over the back of the couch (so far that his feet couldn’t possibly be touching the ground anymore), and craning his neck so that he could place a sloppy kiss against Dirk’s cheek. 

Dirk blinked in shock, his eyes widening almost painfully as he turned his stunned expression on Todd, whose face was _much_ closer than anticipated and currently giving him a dopey grin, his cheeks dimpling dizzyingly. 

Dirk swallowed thickly, and felt his face flush slightly. “Todd,” He interjected, the warbling of his tone belying the intended sternness. “I’m _trying--_ ” Todd surged forward again, before Dirk could properly convey his indignance, and bumped his forehead comfortably against Dirk’s own before moving to press his lips firmly to Dirk’s.

Dirk made a small noise, briefly at war with himself and still vaguely clinging onto the lead the Universe had provided, before Todd let out a needy little whimper, and Dirk firmly told the Universe to _stuff it_. 

He reached up on instinct, eagerly wrapping his arms around Todd’s waist and hesitating on momentarily before yanking and drawing his small boyfriend into his lap, eagerly lapping up Todd’s hum of approval at the new position, and groaning his own approval as the small man shifted so that his legs were on either side of Dirk’s hips, tilting his head and deepening the kiss. 

“You’re abhorable.” Dirk reproved, when Todd pulled away to gasp for air, forcing his expression into (an entirely unbelievable) stern expression. “I was on a _case_!”

“We’ve been on that case,” Todd murmured, moving to press a sloppy kiss to Dirk’s cheek again. “for _weeks_. This is more important.”

“Oh, you’re more important?” Dirk teased, his own cheeks dimpling with the force of his grin. 

Todd seemed to slow his movements, however, and drew back slightly to study Dirk’s face blearily, his hands still placed lightly on Dirk’s waist. “It’s--” He paused and drew in a long, shuddering breath. “I didn’t mean-- If this isn’t--” His gaze flitted away uncomfortably.

Dirk winced slightly at his choice of words, and surged upward slightly to press his lips firmly to the corner of Todd’s, now slightly downturned, mouth. “It is.” He insisted, hoping his tone brooked no room for argument, and smiled hopefully. “This is _far_ more important.”

Todd seemed to relax slightly, the muscles of his thighs relaxing slightly beneath Dirk’s hands, and a small smile began to work its way onto his face. 

Dirk returned to expression, and raised a hand to rub soothingly at the tight muscles of Todd’s slight shoulders, pausing for a moment and basking in the mutual ( _comfortable_ ) silence before surging forward and pressing a soft kiss against the side of Todd’s neck. 

“Nngh.” Todd swallowed against Dirk’s lips and inhaled a stuttering breath. “Are you sure you--”

“Absolutely.” Dirk murmured, moving down to press another lingering kiss to Todd’s collarbones. “Undoubtedly.” 

Todd huffed a laugh. “The case still distracting you?”

Dirk pressed another kiss to the skin of Todd’s collarbones, blowing briefly at the spot before surging forward and beginning to suck at the skin there, revelling in the little “ _ah_!” Todd breathed out at the contact.

“Not so much.” Dirk whispered. “I’ve got a _good_ feeling about it. Besides,” He glanced up to give a rather flushed looking Todd a cheeky grin. “I’ve got something better to distract me now.” 

Todd chuckled a little breathlessly, revealing the _very_ distracting dimples on his cheeks again, and leaned forward to place a long, soft kiss to Dirk’s forehead. 

Dirk leaned into the touch, and reflected that, however vexing the case the Universe had thrown him this time, he was very, _very_ thankful that it allowed him to have this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ("fish throwing men" are a reference to the fish throwing men at Pike Place Market in Seattle!)
> 
> find and prompt me [here!](http://elijahwoodnot.tumblr.com) (please!)

**Author's Note:**

> find me (and prompt me) [here!!](http://elijahwoodnot.tumblr.com)  
> thanks for reading!! ❤️❤️❤️


End file.
